


Merchandise

by silver_hawthorn



Series: Invasion of the Watchtower [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, The bats are a happy family, Tim Drake Needs Sleep, screw you dc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27950753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_hawthorn/pseuds/silver_hawthorn
Summary: "I thought I outlawed wearing merchandise.""You told us, 'No one is allowed to wear anymore Batman merch, or so help me, I will cut off all of your credit cards.' You never said anything about other superheroes."~~~Red Robin visits the Watchtower in his pj's
Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Series: Invasion of the Watchtower [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051841
Comments: 13
Kudos: 499





	Merchandise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic and I'm all for constructive criticism if you have it.
> 
> Set in a world where the Justice League is aware of the Gotham heroes, but don't know that they're Batman's kids.  
> Also, Bruce isn't a jerk to his children (fight me dc)

There was a kid in the Watchtower.

A kid that Barry had never seen before, in the Watchtower.

And he was wearing Green Lantern pajama pants and a Flash t-shirt that clashed nicely with his domino mask.  
Barry was honestly flattered.

He would have been more flattered if he knew what was going on.

The kid, he looked to be around 17, spun lazily in the Batman’s chair.  
_Batman’s chair._  
When he caught sight of Barry, he raised a hand.  
“Hey, Flash. Do you know where Batman is?”  
“Uhhhhh.....I could call him?”  
“That would be great, my comm’s broken.”

With that, the kid pushed off the table so that he could spin around again.  
Barry blinked several times before raising a hand to his comm.  
“Umm...Batman? There’s a kid in the meeting room asking for you? He’s wearing a Flash shirt and Green Lantern pan-“  
“What.”  
“What?”  
“I’m sorry. _What?!?_ ”  
The juxtaposition between Batman’s growl, Superman’s amusement, and Green Lantern’s shock was all the warning Barry got before Clark appeared next to him.

As Hal and Diana flew into the room, the kid was on his 6th rotation in the chair. He nodded in greeting, “Sup, Supes. Wonder Woman.”  
“Hey, Red,” Clark replied with a grin. Diana waved.

“You know this kid?” Hal hissed as Oliver ran in and barreled into Barry, laughing.  
“Batman’s pissed,” the archer chuckled.  
Barry glanced out the doorway just in time to see an angry shadow round the corner.  
“Oh shit.”

Batman entered the room and the temperature seemed to drop 10 degrees. Clark and Diana were the only ones who seemed unbothered...and the kid.  
“Heya, B,” he said cheerfully, stopping his spinning by placing a foot on the table.  
“Red Robin.”

There was a tense silence after Batman’s growl.  
To the kid’s credit (and Barry’s surprise), he didn’t flinch at all. If anything, Red Robin seemed amused.

Barry was still trying to wrap his head around the situation (and from the looks of Hal and Oliver’s faces, they were also confused). Then Batman gave a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I thought I outlawed wearing merchandise,” he growled.

The teen picked absentmindedly at his pants, “You told us, ‘No one is allowed to wear anymore _Batman_ merch, or so help me, I will cut off all your credit cards.’ You never said anything about other superheroes. Besides, Hood gave these to me,” he stuck a leg into the air to show off the Green Lantern logos, “I couldn’t _not_ wear them.”  
“You didn’t have to wear them here. Also, did you break-in? I thought I told you to stop hacking into the Watchtower.”  
“In my defense, you should probably update the security systems. And I needed some info for a case. I haven’t taken them yet, I’m a good boy and am waiting for permission.”

He extended a dramatic, grabby hand towards Batman. Barry’s gaze was locked onto the vigilante in confusion and awe. He could hear Clark and Diana snickering.

Batman dragged a hand down his face.  
“...when did you last sleep?”  
“Irrelevant.”  
“I don’t think-“  
“I think it’s been 2 days but time is an illusion. Permission?”

Batman and Red Robin were now engaged in a staring contest as the teen continued to make grabby hands.  
For a moment, Clark’s stifled laughter was the only sound in the room. Then Batman sighed again.  
“If I promise to send you the files you need, will you _swear_ to me that you’ll go to my room right now and sleep for at least an hour?”  
“Done.”

The teen stood, stalked over to Batman, and shook his hand once.  
“I need all data on Lex Luther and his bank accounts.”  
“I thought you already had his bank accounts.”  
“Nah, because of work, it makes me kinda sus if I have dirt of Luthor. I had to delete my copies a few months ago.”  
“Hm. I’ll send the files to the Batcomputer.”  
“Thanks, Dad.”

He sent Batman a soft smile and the corner of Batman’s lip twitched upwards. The teen’s face lit up before he turned and walked out of the conference room.

The moment the door closed behind him, Clark started laughing out loud.  
Batman growled, “Go to hell, Clark.”  
Hal turned towards Barry with a shocked look on his face.  
“Batman just smiled. At a kid. And that kid called him ‘ _Dad_.’”

Clark laughed louder and Bruce lowered himself into a chair and pressed his head against the tabletop.


End file.
